Four simple steps can save lives – find out how to BE NICE.

By Deborah Reed

WKTV Managing Editor

deborah@wktv.org

TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains sensitive information about depression and suicide that may be distressing or traumatic for some individuals.

Christy Buck, Executive Director and Founder of be nice., is determined to make mental health a part of our everyday conversation.

Buck’s passion for transforming and saving lives through mental health education has led her through 36+ years of experience in the mental health field and the development of mental health and suicide prevention programs.

“I would challenge people to become more knowledgeable to have the confidence to talk about mental illnesses/mental health disorders,” said Buck to WKTV Journal.

Due to a 20% increase in mental health disorders, people are talking more about mental health than ever before. But Buck says we are still missing a vital piece of the solution.

Greater understanding breeds prevention

“What’s not being talked about is recognizing when somebody is struggling with an illness,” said Buck. “That, to me, is one of the biggest things that we owe the community and the nation right now: a better understanding of recognizing the onset of a mental health disorder.”

Buck continued to say that talking about mental illness/mental health disorders is going to raise a greater understanding of one of the most common illnesses in the world – anxiety disorder.

And when we make it okay to talk about mental illness, we combat stigma.

“One way we can combat stigma is by listening to conversations, [and] correcting people when they might not be knowledgeable about mental illnesses,” said Buck.

Since 2006, Buck and her staff have educated over 300,000 people in West Michigan about mental health awareness, bullying, and suicide prevention. And though Buck says she has seen a large shift over the last few years, there is still more work to do.

“When somebody is struggling with a mental health disorder, it’s very scary for those individuals,” said Buck. “Oftentimes there is self-stigma too…viewing yourself as unworthy, viewing yourself as defeated, that there is no hope.”

Dare to swim upstream

Conquering stigma requires knowledge and willingness to open conversations “upstream.”

The four-step be nice. action plan (notice, invite, challenge, empower) addresses all of these issues.

“It’s a simple tool,” said Buck. “Oftentimes we complicate mental health.”

The first step to unraveling that obstacle is to notice when something is different than the norm.

“It’s huge to have ownership of what I am seeing and what I am noticing,” said Buck. “Now I have this knowledge, and having a knowledge base is going to build my confidence to take action.

“Confidence is that tool to invite myself into a conversation.”

That conversation should begin with what is good and right about the person you are talking to. It allows that person to know you care and are concerned. Then acknowledge the differences you have noticed.

Then give hope.

“[Hope] comes through language like: you can feel better, you can get better,” said Buck. “Because it’s the truth. It is huge to be able to give that person some hope.”

Also using the word(s) love and I care about you can instill hope in someone.

Protective/Preventative Measures

Ensuring access to services and usage of those services are two main protective factors for those struggling and/or at risk. Another protective factor is friends and family – having people you can talk to.

Eating right, getting sleep and exercising are three things that release chemicals in your brain that help a person feel better. Spiritual wellness can also help, whether in the form of church or meditation that focuses on positive thinking.

“These are all pieces of empowerment,” said Buck. “When somebody is struggling with a mental health disorder or mental illness, they can’t find those protective factors.”

Buck went on to say that inviting someone struggling into a conversation by asking how you can help guides that person toward self-awareness.

Anyone can be N.I.C.E.

“No one is too young to follow the [action] plan, no one is too old to follow the plan,” said Buck. “This can be for kindergarteners through senior citizens. I love it because it is so multi-generational.”

The be nice. program and action plan educates students, staff, and community members about mental illnesses and encourages them to exchange stereotypes for understanding, compassion and acceptance.

And it has been proven to save lives.

“Be nice. is to go out and treat people with respect and dignity,” said Buck. “It is having that greater understanding that how we treat each other has an affect on someone’s mental health. On how somebody is thinking, how they’re acting, and how they’re feeling.”

Then, Buck continued, it turns into an action plan to change, improve, and save lives.

Notice the right and good of every individual you come into contact with, and invite yourself to share that good with them. Many times, the person may not have ever heard the good about themselves.

By sharing that with them, you are “bringing about that greater understanding of how worthy they are,” said Buck.

Challenge other people to spread that kindness. Treat people with respect and dignity.

“Ultimately, it feels good,” said Buck. “That’s empowerment.”

Julie Gregory, mother of suicide victim Jessica Gregory, is an advocate for the be nice. program.

“As I have gotten to know some of the wonderful volunteers and people who are involved in this program, I have realized what a difference it could have made in Jessica’s life,” Gregory said on her blog, Picking Up the Pieces. “It could have affected the outcome of my daughter’s life.”

Gregory went on to say that, over the last several years, she has learned that how you treat people impacts the way they think, act, and feel.

“Be the change this world needs today,” said Gregory. “Treat people with love and respect, give them support when they are down, get involved, be positive role models and be nice.”

“We are here.”

Knowledge surrounding physical illnesses has increased exponentially over the decades. Buck now challenges us to become more educated about mental illness.

Be nice. offers training on how to recognize mental illness signs and help those struggling. Training registrations can be found on their website.

“We are here,” said Jessica Jones, Communications Director for the Mental Health Foundation. “[We’re] ready to help people have those conversations.”

Resources

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. It is a free, 24/7 service that offers confidential support, information and local resources.

You can also text “HOME” to the Crisis Text Line: 741741, or text “nice” to the Crisis Text Line: 741741 to be connected with a be nice. crisis counselor.

Search for local treatment in your area: Local Resources.

Support for LGBTQ youth: The Trevor Project.

Help stomp out stigma regarding mental illness by joining the free annual be nice. Stomp Out Stigma 5K Walk event in May each year.

*Find more Mental Health: Rewriting the Narrative resources by clicking here.