Tag Archives: Dispute Resolution Center of West Michigan

Busy Kathey Batey — WKTV volunteer, chamber moderator, etc. — honored for mediation work

Kathey Batey in the WKTV studios talking about her various counseling and mediation and training efforts. (WKTV)

By K.D. Norris
ken@wktv.org

Kathey Batey is known for many things in the West Michigan community, including as an on-air volunteer at WKTV and as moderator of several Wyoming-Kentwood Area Chamber of Commerce programs including its Government Matters.

But her day job — and her passion — is helping people overcome hardships as a domestic relations councilor and meditator.

That passion, late last year, earned her an award as Volunteer Meditator of the Year as part of the Dispute Resolution Center of Western Michigan 2019 Peacemaker Awards.

While she has a history in counseling and public speaking, in the last decade she has focused on mediation.

“My interest (in mediation) began when a man in my support group (Divorce Support Anonymous) about nine years ago, stated his legal fees were $129,000 and he wasn’t done with his divorce yet,” Batey said to WKTV. “I was so taken aback, since divorce is destructive enough for the individuals, the family, and especially the children, why should they devastate their finances as well?

“I had heard of mediation so I set out to find out how. I went through mediation training eight years ago and, since, have found mediation as a wonderful challenge that helps people, giving them control over their future with the power to self-determination of their future. And it saves them a lot of money. They can mediate with an attorney or on their own. When they mediate on their own I always advise they have an attorney review it prior to signing. Because the Mediation Agreement is legally binding.”

Also honored at the event, held in October 2019, was Grand Rapid Mayor Rosalyn Bliss.

The Dispute Resolution Center, at the time of the award ceremony, said of Batey:

“Kathey specializes in domestic relations mediation. She has been mediating with the Center since 2012 and has donated over 500 hours of her time. Her passion and dedication shine though everything she does. One recent mediation participant summed it up in her post-mediation survey, ‘I was appreciative of Kathey’s demeanor, skill in facilitation, and ability to keep on task . . . She was thorough and compassionate.’ Kathey is committed to helping those who find themselves faced with Divorce.”

The kind words from the center at the time of the award was an honor, Batey said.

“To be recognized for your commitment to this valuable organization and recognized for your skill as a mediator is very rewarding,” she said. “I believe in their cause and they provide mediation services on a sliding scale, the most it will be is $150 per person for 3 hours. So those without a lot of means can get these services and minimize legal costs.

“Plus, the only way to truly be skilled in any profession is to work at your skill continuously. There is a lot to know in the many facets of divorce. There are the individual needs, self-determination, financial issues, co-parenting children, the law, critical thinking. The art and science of a good question, discipline of the mind, dealing with multiple personalities, managing fears, tears and still maintaining professionalism.”

 

For Batey, however, there is also a very simple, and personal, reason for her mediation work with the Dispute Resolution Center and on her own — a reason that makes her earning a Peacemaker Award all the more fitting.

“It is a part of my giving back into the world,”, she said, referencing the biblical passage “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.” (Matthew 5:9)

The Dispute Resolution Center, also at the time of the Peacemaker Awards ceremony, said of Mayor Bliss:

“Bliss is the first woman mayor of Grand Rapids, MI.  In honor of United Nations International Day of Peace, she declared September 21, 2019 as the International Day of Peace in Grand Rapids. Grand Rapids Public Schools participated in activities throughout the week in honor of the occasion. The Dispute Resolution Center of West Michigan is all about helping to create community and repairing broken relationships.  Mayor Bliss understands that,  ‘[H]aving a safe community is critical to our success, and that requires our continued commitment to strengthen community-police relations,’ Bliss said. ‘This requires building a strong foundation of trust between community members and our police officers.’”

For more information on the Dispute Resolution Center of Western Michigan, visit drcwm.org.

Batey is the author of “Suddenly Single: Rebuilding Your Life After Divorce” and, among other projects, is the founder of Divorce Support Anonymous. For more information on Batey and her other efforts, visit StayMarriedAmerica.com and/or spiritedpresentations.com.

Dispute Resolution Center of West Michigan is ‘Thirty & Thriving’ — come celebrate!

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Dispute Resolution Center of West Michigan (DRCWM) is commemorating its 30th year with a soirée called Thirty & Thriving — Celebrating the Vision, and the community is invited to attend October 20 at 6:30 pm at The B.O.B.-Eve, 20 Monroe Ave NW, Grand Rapids, MI 49503.

 

DRCWM’s celebration will be hosted by local luminary, the Honorable Sara Smolenski, whose brother Hon. Michael Smolenski served as the first board president of DRCWM. Three individuals, responsible for transforming the idea of a center for conflict resolution into reality, will be honored with Local Peacemaker Awards:  Rev. Vernon Hoffman, Calvin College Professor Emeritus, Dr. Henry J. Holstege, Jr. and Dr. Robert Riekse.

 

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Judge Sara Smolenski (photo courtesy of feedwm.org/)

The DRCWM is a non-profit community dispute resolution center serving seven counties in West Michigan. The organization provides mediation services on a sliding scale, mediation training, restorative practitioners, and restorative practices training.

 

Last year, the DRCWM served 1,302 individuals and mediated 429 cases in a wide variety of areas, 74% of which mediated to full or partial agreement. Mediation helps participants to resolve conflicts on their own timeline, in a private setting, on their own terms. The mediators are volunteers trained pursuant to the Michigan State Court Administrator’s guidelines.

 

Spearheaded by its executive director, Christine Gilman, DRCWM began its restorative justice program at Lee Middle School in the fall of 2013. The services target students, staff and the community. A recent $50,000 from the Steelcase Foundation enabled the organization to expand its restorative justice program to Lee Middle School in Wyoming, Kelloggsville Middle School and Wyoming High School over the next two years.

 

Some of the students that have participated in the restorative circles process at Wyoming Public Schools will share their experiences at the celebration, and guests will hear firsthand how effective the program really is.

 

Noel Webley
Noel Webley

Noel Webley and his Jazz Friends will keep toes tapping as guests enjoy a scrumptious dinner catered by the B.O.B., a cash bar, an opportunity to mingle and network, and have an opportunity to win exciting prizes in a raffle.

 

Tickets are available for $45 at drcwm.org. Proceeds will support the organization’s restorative justice school programs which have helped students to avoid hundreds of suspension days through restorative circles.

 

For more information contact: Christine Gilman, Executive Director DRCWM at 616.774.0121 x 101 or 616.581.3582. Or email her at cgilman@drcwm.org.

 

DRCWM wins $50,000 Steelcase grant for Wyoming schools Restorative Circles project

By Victoria Mullen

victoria@wktv.org

 

adam bird photo of Chris Gilman
DRCWM’s executive director, Christine Gilman (Photo by Adam Bird)

Thanks to a $50,000 grant from the Steelcase Foundation, the Dispute Resolution Center of West Michigan (DRCWM) will further develop its Restorative Justice Program for Lee Middle School in Wyoming, Kelloggsville Middle School and Wyoming High School over the next two years.

 

Spearheaded by its executive director, Christine Gilman, DRCWM began its restorative justice program at Lee Middle School in the fall of 2013. The services target students, staff and the community.

 

The Steelcase grant will also provide funding to have the three current facilitators become licensed by the International Institute of Restorative Practices (IIRP). Once licensed, the facilitators will be available to train “Introduction to Restorative Practices” and “Using Circles Effectively” to school administrators, teachers and others who wish to invest in the training so that they can join the paradigm shift away from punitive methods of discipline and towards restorative solutions to problematic behavior.

 

Chris and kids courtesy of Godfrey Lee Public Schools
Christine Gilman leads a restorative circle. (Photo courtesy of Godfrey Lee Public Schools)

Why restorative justice?

Bullying and out-of-control conflict at home or school have far-reaching consequences, with negative effects on communities and society. Without intervention and support, such negative exposure can inhibit youths’ emotional and cognitive development, prohibit healing, lead to serious health issues later in life and may perpetuate the cycle of violence.

 

“If you just get suspended, the fight is still going to be going on in your head,” said Gilman. “When you come back to school, you’ll probably be 10 times angrier than when you left.

 

In addition to quelling disputes and developing proactive plans to address misbehavior, restorative practices positively influence the school environment by teaching effective, non-violent ways to handle anger, frustration, and conflict. Restorative practices foster the development of empathy, which creates a more caring and safe environment.

 

According to the Council of State Governments, during 2012-2013, Michigan students with disabilities lost 190,036 days of instruction due to suspensions and expulsions. Students who are removed from the classroom as punishment are more likely to repeat a grade, drop out or enter the juvenile justice system. In monetary terms, every student who drops out is estimated to lose $250,000 in lifetime earnings, according to the Michigan Student Advocacy Center.

 

adam bird photo of circles
Photo by Adam Bird

What restorative justice does

 

A school-based restorative justice program provides an early intervention for youth who are beginning to demonstrate problematic or delinquent behavior. When students are suspended, they are not learning, and they are not resolving the issues that led to suspension.

 

Often the issues that led to suspension are exacerbated during the student’s absence from school. Further, students who are harmed by others are not typically addressed in school disciplinary measures; whereas in circles they can express their feelings, make suggestions for reparations, and learn more about why the incident occurred. Additionally, circles allow students to take responsibility for their actions, face up to what they have done, apologize and make amends—actions which are likewise not part of traditional discipline.

 

Restorative practices (including facilitative conferences and circles) offer a holistic approach to school discipline and problem solving. These practices been proven to decrease the number of suspension/expulsion days and disproportionately higher suspension days for non-white students and special education.

 

Circles are used in a wide variety of instances, including threats of fights; social media issues; bullying; vandalism; and to help restore relationships after suspensions. Circles can be used instead of suspension, to complement a shorter suspension, or to help reintegrate students into the school community following suspension.

 

better DRCWM logoRather than look at which rule was broken and then doling out traditionally prescribed punishment, at-risk students may be sent to a circle for resolution. During a discussion led by the circle facilitator, the students come up with solutions to the issues raised. Circles help students look at what happened, determine the harm done, talk about how the harm can be repaired, and discuss how future harm can be prevented.

 

The facilitator draws up the restorative agreement in the students’ own words. When the students are satisfied with the content of the restorative agreement, they sign the document.

 

“Accepting an apology is almost as good as giving an apology,” Gilman said. “When you see that empathy, it’s really cool. I have seen the light go on. The best thing is while I’m typing up the agreement, they’re giggling, laughing and talking,” she said.

 

For more information on Restorative Practices, visit DRCWM’s website here.

 

Additional reporting from School News Network.

Restorative Circles in Schools Help Resolve Escalating Conflict Between Students

Mediator Tina Murua meets with a sixth-grader about problems the girl is having with friends
Mediator Tina Murua meets with a sixth-grader about problems the girl is having with friends

By Erin Albanese — School News Network

 

Tina Murua sat down recently with Kelloggsville Middle School seventh-graders Genesis Figuero and Kiara McBride. The girls were ready to talk face-to-face about problems with their friendship, prompted by hurt feelings and misunderstandings.

 

Taking turns holding a bag of marbles to designate who could speak in the Restorative Circle, the girls, through guided conversation with Murua, told each other what was on their minds. Turns out, they really never wanted to stop being best friends but got caught up in a game of she said/she said.

 

At the end of the discussion, the girls signed an agreement to talk directly to each other about any concerns.

 

Without Murua to talk to, the girls might have wound up in the principal’s office for gossiping or arguing. Instead, they used a new tool available to them: restorative justice. Murua began working last fall at Kelloggsville Middle School on three afternoons a week as facilitator for the program that aims to teach students how to peacefully resolve conflicts.

 

Kiara and Genesis said they felt positive about the agreement. Restorative justice was a better way to solve their problem than continuing to argue. “I like this better because if you are going to the principal or dean you are getting in trouble. I like to go somewhere where I’m not getting in trouble and can sort out my problems,” Kiara said. “It’s good because if you don’t want to talk to the teacher or principal, you have (Murua) to help.”

Genesis Figuero listens to her friend Kiara McBride
Genesis Figuero listens to her friend Kiara McBride

 

A new outreach of the Grand Rapids-based nonprofit Dispute Resolution Center of West Michigan (DRCWM), restorative justice helps students solve differences using trained mediators. Many students’ conflicts center around friendships, gossiping or social media arguments, though they see Murua for bigger offenses–like stealing or fighting–sometimes after suspension, as well.

 

Students often just need the skills to respond appropriately to conflict. Sometimes that hasn’t been modeled well at home, Murua said. “I think these kids are so interesting, and they are just trying to find their way. There are a lot of them who struggle,” she said. “I don’t think a single one of them is a bad kid. Some of them are in rough situations, and they don’t have the internal resources to deal with it.”

 

A Non-Punitive Approach
As a third-party, Murua provides a place where students feel comfortable talking things out without facing punishment.

 

“It is a different way to approach conflict or difficult behavior. When we are talking about student discipline traditionally, we ask, ‘What was the rule? Who broke it? What is the punishment?’ Instead we’re asking, ‘What happened? Who was affected or harmed, and what needs to be done to repair the harm and keep it from happening again?'”

 

While restorative justice isn’t a new philosophy or curriculum, it flips the traditionally punitive school-discipline model. It is also being used at Lee Middle School in Godfrey-Lee Public Schools and at Wyoming High School in Wyoming Public Schools. In Grand Rapids Public Schools, more than two dozen schools have implemented restorative practices and more than 1,500 students have participated, Superintendent Teresa Weatherall Neal reported this fall.

 

Kelloggsville students may still be suspended as part of the discipline program there, but they often meet with Murua after they return. Christine Gilman, executive director for the DRCWM, said they first approached Godfrey-Lee to start the program last year because of a disproportionate rate of suspensions and expulsions for minority and special-education students. Wyoming High School and Kelloggsville administrators expressed interest when the center wanted to expand the program. “It is such a powerful way to help improve the school community and culture, to make communication really valued and where students use their communication skills to solve problems,” Gilman said.

Kiara McBride and Genesis Figuero discuss a rift in their friendship
Kiara McBride and Genesis Figuero discuss a rift in their friendship

 

A Way to Build Community
Oftentimes, including in the case of suspension, students are cut off, at least temporarily, from the school community. Restorative justice instead makes students accountable for their behavior. They have to own up to the situation and become part of the solution. “I like to focus on the word ‘restorative’ as opposed to ‘retributive,'” said Murua, a self-described “recovering lawyer.” “Retribution traditionally focuses on ‘You do something bad to us, we do something bad to you.'” The long-term goal is to interrupt the school-to-prison pipeline by creating stronger schools and students who have a sense of belonging.

 

Students who are suspended have a much higher percent chance of repeating a grade or dropping out of school. They are significantly more likely to go into juvenile detention programs and then to jail, according to a Texas study, Breaking Schools’ Rules: A Statewide Study of How School Discipline Relates to Students’ Success and Juvenile Justice Involvement, prepared by the Council of State Governments Justice Center in partnership with the Public Policy Research Institute at Texas A&M University. “Removing students from the community creates alienation,” Gilman said. “A strong community is the best defense against all sorts of anti-social behavior.”

 

The outcome of a successful restorative justice program is fewer suspensions. Students are also less likely to repeat bad behaviors and the need for classroom discipline decreases, Murua said. Principal Jim Alston said restorative justice is another level in helping students resolve conflict before they end up in his office. “They are more apt to open up and face each other. It forces them to learn the skills of being able to talk to each other.” Wyoming High School Assistant Principal Josh Baumbach said they’ve already seen a reduction in suspensions since starting the program this fall. “It has allowed students a safe process to work out their differences and it helps ensure the issue does not come back as soon as students return to the hallways and classrooms,” he said.

 

Be sure to check out School News Network for more stories about our great students, schools, and faculty in West Michigan!

 

Check out Kent School Service Network for further information.

Feelin’ Groovy: ‘Give Peace a Chance’ Fundraiser is Oct. 15

give peace a chance John LennonIf you grew up in the ’60s or ’70s, you’ll be very familiar with the phrase, “Give Peace a Chance.” Even if you’re a tad younger, chances are you’ve heard the phrase or even the famous song written by John Lennon while he was still one of the Beatles. The words became an anthem for anti-Vietnam War protesters, but this year the phrase has been revived as the theme of the Dispute Resolution Center of West Michigan‘s (DRCWM) second annual fundraiser celebrating International Conflict Resolution Day.

 

The “Give Peace a Chance” event is slated for Thursday, October 15 from 7-9 pm at the B.O.B.-EVE, 20 Monroe Ave. NW, Rapids, MI 49503. Tickets are $35. The Main Street Dueling Pianos will provide a flashback to freer times with ’60s music, and you’ll want to dress to match the theme for extra fun. Two local peacemakers–Judge William Kelly and Peter Letzmann–will be honored at the event for their outstanding service to the community.

 

If you’re not involved in a lawsuit or major conflict at the moment, you may not see the relevance to your GPAC-Poster-791x1024life. However, perhaps it’s time to ponder another old saying, “Into each life a few (or many) raindrops fall,” which has nothing to do with the weather. Rather, the phrase is our cultural shorthand for a simple fact: No one escapes conflicts in life. The question we all ask ourselves at some point is, “How do I deal with it?”

 

Chris Gilman, the nonprofit’s Executive Director, says, “Conflict is unavoidable, but we can use it as an opportunity for growth.”

 

Every year about a thousand people experiencing conflict visit the DRCWM. They sit down with a trained mediator and talk about the problem(s) they face. They don’t just talk, they also listen. Then they create a solution that works for the parties involved, whether the conflicts involve marriage, divorce, employment, a neighbor, or just about anything else. The DRCWM reaches out to a seven-county area, providing low- or no-cost mediation services to people of modest means. Some cases are referred to the center by the court.

 

The process is cheaper than hiring an attorney, because you do the work yourself; but this is one DIY project where a trained coach is vital, and that takes money; the investment in creating peace is significant. So rummage around for your old fur vest, rose-tinted glasses, love beads, and maybe old army fatigues. Hang out at the B.O.B., practice your peace sign and “Give Peace a Chance.” It’s hip to feel groovy.

hippies

For more information, visit the DRCWM’s website or call 616.774.0121.

Circles Teach Students How to Talk It Out

by Linda Odette, School News Network at Kent ISD

Christine Gilman leads a session while Teresa Sanchez looks on
Christine Gilman leads a session while Teresa Sanchez looks on Photos from School News Network

Godfrey Lee Public Schools, MI — The Restorative Circle program being used to solve disputes among students at Godfrey Lee Middle School is pretty simple: sit down together and talk it out.

This makes more sense than the usual route of anger, fights and suspensions, says Christine Gilman, who directs the circle in its first year.

“If you just get suspended, the fight is still going to be going on in your head,” Gilman says. “When you come back to school, you’ll probably be 10 times madder than when you left.”

Instead of focusing on who did it and punishment, the group focuses on what happened and how to keep it from happening again, says Gilman, executive director of the Dispute Resolution Center of West Michigan, an organization that helps people solve problems using a mediator.

Teresa Sanchez Perez says the Restorative Circles program helps her look at things differently
Teresa Sanchez Perez says the Restorative Circles program helps her look at things differently

“Everyone has a different perspective,” Gilman says. “The important thing is to share what’s going on and how it made them feel.”

Before a session starts, Gilman explains to the participants she’s not there to get them in trouble.

“I’m not going to punish them, I’m just here to figure out how to stop bad behavior,” she says.

Dean of Students Brett Lambert says Gilman takes care of verbal or emotional disagreements and conflicts before they get to his office.

“At my level, it’s already to the point there’s going to be disciplinary action,” Lambert explains, adding that, for the students, knowing they’re not talking to him is less intimidating.

Inside the Circle

The program for the middle school’s sixth- through eighth-grade students began in October. Since then about 25 disputes regarding fighting, bullying, hair pulling — even acorn throwing — have come to the circle.

Gilman visits the school twice a week to meet with students, who are referred by teachers and administrators. State and local grants and area organizations pay for the program.

Grand Rapids Public Schools adopted a similar pilot program last fall in three schools, as a way of healing conflicts and reducing suspensions.

Aryonna Mullins listens during a Restorative Circle
Aryonna Mullins listens during a Restorative Circle

At a recent meeting at Godfrey Lee Middle School, four seventh-grade girls sit in a circle with Gilman. She breaks the ice by asking them about their weekends, then slides right into the issues that brought them to the circle with the help of a funny-looking, stuffed green frog. Whoever is holding the frog gets to speak.

Aydalaz Guzman talks about instigating trouble by calling a girl a name.

“I knew it was wrong,” Aydalaz says. “I wasn’t respecting my cousin’s friendship with her. I was telling her not to talk to her, not to hang out with her, not to be her friend.”

Her cousin Teresa Sanchez, also in the circle, found herself in the middle of the feud.

“I wanted to be both of their friends,” Teresa says. “I knew that they should get along.”

Mariah Quiles talks about a fight brewing between her and another girl. She came to the circle to discuss it, and the fight didn’t happen. Without the Restorative Circle, she says, “I’d have been suspended by now.”

Mariah Quiles says the circles have helped her stay out of trouble
Mariah Quiles says the circles have helped her stay out of trouble

Gilman lets the students do most of the talking.

“You give us advice, but we figure it out on our own,” says Mariah.

Making Apologies, Seeking Forgiveness

It surprises students when they sit down together to learn they are facing similar problems, Gilman says. She encourages them to ask for forgiveness and accept apologies.

“Accepting an apology is almost as good as giving an apology,” she says. “When you see that empathy, it’s really cool. I have seen the light go on.”

At the end of a session, Gilman writes up an agreement among the students.

“The best thing,” she says, “is while I’m typing up the agreement, they’re giggling, laughing and talking.”

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