By WKTV Staff
Holiday gatherings can become more of a reality check than joyful reunions as relatives notice health and safety concerns in aging loved ones for the first time.
“People often rely on phone calls or texts to check on older loved ones throughout the year,” says Paula Lett, Social Services Manager for Care Resources, a Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly. “But without those regular in-person visits, signs that indicate a need for assistance can go unnoticed for months.”
Holiday wake-up calls
Throughout much of her career, Lett has been on the frontlines of the post-holiday influx of people seeking senior care. Her colleague, Eric Millar, can also attest to the surge in inquiries.
“It can be a shock to the system for family members who haven’t been around all year to notice their older loved one has been struggling,” Millar says, noting that these holiday wake-up calls underscore the importance of more regular check-ins.
“Don’t wait until the holidays to face these issues,” Millar advocates. “Get into the holiday spirit of visiting loved ones year-round by carving out a couple of hours each month to go into mom or dad’s home. You don’t have to cook or clean. Just spend time together. It will mean more to them than you realize and also help you identify opportunities for support sooner.”
Looking for clues
Whenever visiting an aging loved one, Lett and Millar encourage families to take note of the state of the home. Are there piles of mail or trash? An overflowing kitchen sink or laundry hamper?
Monitoring for changes in physical health, personal hygiene and mood is also important.
“You might notice they’ve lost weight, appear disheveled or are wearing dirty clothes,” Millar explains. “Maybe they’re increasingly forgetful, irritable or confused.”
After identifying such signs, Lett cautions against falling into the assumption that nursing home placement is the only solution, especially when “there is so much help available through programs such as PACE to keep seniors living safely in their own homes.”
Conversation tips
However, broaching the subject with an aging loved one requires great care. Millar recommends having the person they trust most talk one-on-one, rather than a group intervention. Focus the conversation around resources that can give more independence rather than take it away.
“Seek to understand the specific areas where they could benefit from assistance so they can continue living the life they want to live,” he says. “You can be firm about the fact that you’re going to help, but encourage them to choose where they want the help.”
Lett adds it can help to explain that the goal is to maintain their ability to remain in their own home and in control as much as possible while enhancing their health and safety.
“No one wants to be a burden on anyone else, so it can be difficult to accept help,” Lett explains. “Be sure to treat them as a person, not an object that is a liability to themselves. Reassure them that getting support doesn’t mean they can’t still be self-reliant. There are options to help meet their needs while maintaining their dignity and autonomy.”
Learn more
Lett says families don’t have to “start from scratch” to find resources and build a care plan tailored to their loved one’s needs. For information about services that help older adults stay healthy and live independently in the community, call 800.610.6299 or visit CareResources.org.
